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- Josн Wong (LJ) -
Here are a few blonde jokes to lighten up your day\night :)
1) A blonde arrives at work one morning crying hysterically. Her concerned boss asks, 'What's the matter?'
'Early this morning,' the blonde replies, 'I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.'
'I'm terribly sorry to hear that,' her boss says. 'Why don't you go home for the day - we're not that busy, and you need the time off to relax and rest.'
'No,' the blonde replies calmly, having regained composure, 'I'd be better off here. Work will take my mind of my mother's death.'
'Okay,' the boss agrees. 'If you need anything, just let me know.'
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees her bawling her eyes out. 'Are you going to be okay?' he asks. 'Is there anything I can do?'
'No,' the blonde replies. 'I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!'
2) A blonde woman enters the breast stroke division of the English Channel swim competition and on the day of the event finds herself competing with a brunette and a redhead.
They race, and the brunette comes in first while the redhead comes in second. The blonde woman finally reaches shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee she says,'I don't want to accuse anyone of cheating, but I think I saw those other two girls use their arms.'
3) Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror. She picks it up, looks into it, and says, 'WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before...'
The other blonde says, 'Give me a look at that,' taking the mirror from her friend. She looks into it, and says, 'Duh, of course you've seen that person before. That's me!'
4) A young ventriloquist is touring Australia and one night he's doing an RSL show out in the suburbs. He starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes with his dummy on his knee when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting,
'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype woman that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep woman like me from being respected at work and in community and from reaching our full potential as people. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blonde, but women in general... and all in the name of your so called "Humour"!'
The embarrased ventriloquist begins to apologise, but the blonde shouts him down.
'You stay out of this, mister!,' she yells. 'I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee.'
'I'm terribly sorry to hear that,' her boss says. 'Why don't you go home for the day - we're not that busy, and you need the time off to relax and rest.'
'No,' the blonde replies calmly, having regained composure, 'I'd be better off here. Work will take my mind of my mother's death.'
'Okay,' the boss agrees. 'If you need anything, just let me know.'
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees her bawling her eyes out. 'Are you going to be okay?' he asks. 'Is there anything I can do?'
'No,' the blonde replies. 'I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!'
2) A blonde woman enters the breast stroke division of the English Channel swim competition and on the day of the event finds herself competing with a brunette and a redhead.
They race, and the brunette comes in first while the redhead comes in second. The blonde woman finally reaches shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee she says,'I don't want to accuse anyone of cheating, but I think I saw those other two girls use their arms.'
3) Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror. She picks it up, looks into it, and says, 'WOW! I know this person. I've seen this person somewhere before...'
The other blonde says, 'Give me a look at that,' taking the mirror from her friend. She looks into it, and says, 'Duh, of course you've seen that person before. That's me!'
4) A young ventriloquist is touring Australia and one night he's doing an RSL show out in the suburbs. He starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes with his dummy on his knee when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting,
'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype woman that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep woman like me from being respected at work and in community and from reaching our full potential as people. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blonde, but women in general... and all in the name of your so called "Humour"!'
The embarrased ventriloquist begins to apologise, but the blonde shouts him down.
'You stay out of this, mister!,' she yells. 'I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee.'
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